


I just wanna make...love to you~

by Beckendorf



Series: The simply fabulous anatomy of a one Steven G Rogers [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel, Marvel (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (2012)
Genre: But this was just too funny to resist, F/M, I don't hate any of these lovely ladies really please remember that, M/M, Multi, Summer Heat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-09
Updated: 2013-08-09
Packaged: 2017-12-22 23:28:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/919301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Beckendorf/pseuds/Beckendorf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's a hot summer's day at the Avengers Mansion and what better way to celebrate it other than chasing and ogling single hot men. Especially when there's the chance of one of them being a certain Steven Grant Rogers. </p><p>Who is totally single. Right? <br/>((This is super dumb and very OOC please remember that when you are reading)) </p><p>(Based on the summery Diet Coke ad ;D)</p>
            </blockquote>





	I just wanna make...love to you~

**Author's Note:**

> So...that Diet coke Ad on TV _really_ pisses me off. So I turned into a fic! Brilliant use of my time. 
> 
> Honestly, looking back on this a year on makes me feel bad because all these lovely ladies are super badass and I've kinda realised how internally misogynistic I used to be. They're great, thus is just for fun. Please read with an open mind. 
> 
> Coke on the shirt is not comfy. Unless that shirt happens to be sitting on Steve Rogers' fantastic body. Then it is completely acceptable. 
> 
> That's what they want us to believe. 
> 
> As usual. Over sexualising a drink.

. 

~~~~~~

It was one of those beautifully lazy summer afternoons. The trees were exceptionally green, only light breeze gently ruffling their leaves. Butterflies could be seen everywhere, eager to show off their colourful wings, yet sometimes lost in the sea of colours blooming from various flower beds. The usually dry grass seemed lush and inviting, like thick carpet laid on the land. Attractive shirless men dotted the scene, sweat glistening in the sun, making their muscles shine.

Such was the high frequency of these so called adonises that the women of the Avengers mansion felt the need to sit outside and observe the specimens. It was just their luck that the most delightful of them all-and by far the most attractive to ogle at- was covered up in a dense, loose t-shirt, hiding all the glory god had given him. Well, Howard Stark’s machine and Dr Erskine’s serum had given him. So more commonly known as Steven Rogers, the most unfortunately modest man you will ever have the pleasure of meeting.

He had decided to be slightly productive and do some garden work whilst all the other guys decided it would be a good idea to stay inside and drink beer. The grass had desperately needed a trim and the weather was perfect for hours to be spent labouring in the sun. It was nothing he hadn't done before-and last time he was in a 6kg leather suit and a shield! So he’d gone to the garage and taken the flashy StarkTech lawnmower out. Well, the garage that wasn’t filled with old weapons and various other items of lethal machinery.

He was halfway through the intense trim, taking extra care to achieve the perfect stripes when he noticed the group of girls watching him. They were, of course, his team mates ; but he couldn’t help feeling a little uncomfortable about the way they stared at him. Or more specifically, his chest and behind. Oh well, maybe they were too tight? No, this had definitely been the loosest t-shirt he’d owned. After years of skin tight white t-shirts ripping at the slightest move, he’d decided it was time to go a size up. Today he had the pleasure of wearing a graphic t-shirt with Iron Man on it-a gift from the man himself.

The girls started giggling and he smiled to them, bowing his head in acknowledgment. There were three of them, he realised, as he recognised the hair colour and laughs of Agent Sharon Carter, Janet Van Dyne and Wanda Maximoff. He could just about make out the shape of Natasha sat under the shade with her feet propped against a cool box, shades over her face with a nice book about espionage, incest and death. Just what she needed to make a cheery summer’s day even happier.

“Come on Shaz, go for it! He’s _totally_ checking you out.” Janet giggled, shoving the woman playfully before reaching into the box of drinks they’d brought out and bringing out a can of diet coke.

“Nah, he’d never go for a girl like me.” She looked away, slipping her sunglasses on for some hidden Steve appreciation. That man was sex on legs. Literally. If only he knew…

Janet shook her head at Wanda who looked sympathetic. If they weren’t already taken, they would have gone for Steve themselves, but they agreed that Sharon had totally claimed him first. She paused as she placed her hand on the top of the can, deep in thought. It was nice and cool against her palm, and as she stared at the cylindrical beacon of enjoyment an idea started to form in her head.

“Hey Shaz, does Steve like diet or regular?”

“…I have no idea, I’ve never been on a date with him have I?” She all but snapped back.

“Wanda?”

“I don’t really sit with him at meal times…”

Natasha rolled her eyes with a sigh. “He likes regular, that’s why we had to buy the diet coke _ourselves._ ” She emphasised the last word and Janet scowled a little.

“I think the heat’s getting to her.”

“Well she _is_ from Russia…”

“Anyway, here Shaz take this.” Janet handed her the coke can, a mischievous smile on her face.

“What for?” She looked at it with extreme scepticism.

Wanda seemed to have caught her drift, “Remember that time we rolled a coke can along the floor to pass it to Sam because he was too lazy to get it himself and it made his shirt all wet?”

“Ye-es…oh!” She smiled with a devilish frown before rolling the can to where Steve had currently stopped mowing to wipe his brow. The can stopped by the edge of the machine with a precise chime of metal against metal.

He bent down and picked it up, once again gracing the girls with a lovely view of that all too tight backside.  With a confused frown, he looked towards him where Sharon made a _very_ subtle drinking action. Which could be taken for something entirely different if Steve weren’t so innocent. Or as innocent as she thought anyway.

He shrugged and gently pressed down on the toggle, jumping when a fountain of brown foam escaped from the little hole. It shot him straight in the face, spreading all over his shoulders with most of the impact on his chest. He set the can down and wiped the coke from his eyebrows-all with a very unimpressed look aimed at their direction.

The girls were currently sat with their hands on their mouths, gasping as the plan had been a total success. Janet and Wanda hi-fived as Sharon mouthed a very insincere “I’m sorry” at Steve. The man just grunted and started to tease his t-shirt off, peeling it from his skin. The girls squealed as they final got a view of his spectacular chest, shimmering in the sun. His pectoral muscles could have been the work of Da Vinci, each line perfectly perpendicular to each other-and so sharp, you could almost see the right angles. In fact, Sharon wouldn’t mind putting that to the test if it meant exploring Steve’s body with a protractor.

The next thing they focused on were the ridiculously low slung jeans, only barely held up by the belt he was wearing. The muscles were just as impeccable as Sharon’s aunt had told her. That lucky bitch, she thought, she got to touch them. But now that Sharon had her eye on the prize, there was no way she was going to bow down. Hot single men who happened to be Steve Rogers were not safe when she was around.

Steve sighed as he wrung his t-shirt, squeezing to get all the coke out of it. The girls’ jaws dropped as they all simultaneously took a sip from their cans of coke. They could see his biceps working _rippling_ as his hands gripped the t-shirt, twisting it. Sharon was near letting out a moan of pleasure by this point. If there was anything to make this hot day even hotter-it was definitely that.

Steve shook his head and dumped the t-shirt on his shoulder, ready to get back when he felt a pair of strong arms wrap around his waist, turning him around. He smiled, letting himself be handled by the mystery arms. Especially since those same arms had pinned him down to their king-sized bed just in the early hours of that same morning. 

He was pulled into a tight kiss, feeling the smaller body under him tense and then relax into him. Steve closed his eyes and held him gently, kissing him with force and passion, turning his head feeling and feeling the scratch of the signature Stark goatee.

Well, Tony had other ideas and pushed him onto the lawnmower, kissing him so hard Steve literally had to hold onto the man’s neck for fear of being shoved onto the “on” button. And wouldn't  _that_ have made an interesting event. He didn't even want to think about it. 

There was a loud gasp from the corner of the field as Sharon, Janet and Wanda watched what was most definitely the _dirtiest_ kiss they’d ever wanted to witness. They could practically see Tony’s tongue shoved down Steve’s throat as his hips were harshly ground into. The sound that followed was something the girls had only  _dreamed_ about hearing. 

“Steve-“

“And-“

“Tony!?”  Sharon’s voice went up an entire octave, nearly a scream.

Said man turned to face the other three girls, giving them a very beautiful view of a flustered Steve, cheeks dusted with red and mouth open, breathing deeply. They could almost see the sweat droplets make their ways down the planes of muscle as his breath shuddered.

“Oh hi!” He waved ecstatically, ignoring their shocked expressions. Steve released himself from the death grip of Tony’s crotch and wrapped his arms around his boyfriend’s waist, his mouth near Tony’s ear.

“I don’t think this was how we’d initially intended to come out to the rest of the team…”

“Oh come on Steve; you and I both know how flexible you are.” He smirked and pulled Steve up as they were ready to walk back to the mansion.

“How could we have missed that…?!” Natasha smirked at the clueless women. She leaned over, “You need to learn to be more observant.” She got up just as Hawkeye walked out, drenched with an empty can of beer in his hand, shirt tied around his waist.

The three women tilted their heads like a triplet of trained dancers, in perfect unison. Sharon licked her lips, smoothing over a new coat of lip gloss, carefully eyeing up her new target.

Natasha rolled her eyes. “That’s my cue…” she got up and walked over to where the three men were in a deep conversation-well, more so discussing the power of drink cans.

She grabbed the archer, covering his mouth with hers in a possessive kiss, effectively cutting of the pecto-nomic view.

Sharon buried her head in her hands. “WHY ARE ALL THE HOT GUYS TAKEN!?” She wailed to the skies.

Somewhere up there, she was sure God found glee in her pain.  

 


End file.
